The views expressed below do not reflect those of myself, the Roar nor the PCS administration.

These quotes were all taken out of context from various conversations and in some cases simply overheard.

Key: Quotes being side-by-side means that they occurred consecutively in a conversation.  

If they are below each other, but not separated by a line, they are from the same person, but were said some time apart from each other.

“I do cocaine.”

-Mátyás.

*Bark!*

-Senior several times.

“She’s more objectifiable.”

-Senior.

“And she’s under 18.”

“You know it, 24/7, I have a girl who’s live on cam.”

-Senior.

“How do you cycle somebody?  ‘Cuz I wanna recycle your body!”

“Are you a ray gun…?”

“Fossil fuuuels.”

-Senior.

“Let’s go, Brandon!”

-Unknown, one of three seniors.

“My dad sobbed to Zootopia.”

-Senior.

“Meth?”

-One of two seniors.

“No one would.  I would be regarded as a god if I did.”

-Mátyás.

“I feel like I’d have a high suicide rate.”

-Senior.

“We committed genocide against the nation of France!”

-Me.

“Why is it black?”

-Mátyás.

“I can’t believe I tried to talk about porn earlier!”

“I should try to argue about the ethics of porn.”

-Junior.

“Turkey remains undefeated.

If I’d known it was a Turk, I would’ve been more careful.”

-Yours Truly.

“There’s a strange history of animal people at PCS.”

-Yours truly once more.

“Why the f*ck would I want to be part of the horse semen extracting business?”

-Anonymous.

“I didn’t know it was colonized by monkeys.  I thought it was a term of endearment.”

-Senior.

“[REDACTED], you mouse.”

-Senior.

“…I like killing babies.”

-Senior.

“I take this as a challenge.  I don’t wanna try my best.”

-Senior.

“Fewer babies, fewer small populations.”

-Senior.

“Do octopi have eyes?”

-Senior

“Ow, elbow!”

-Senior.

“He’s a child, [REDACTED].”  “No, he’s not…he has two children with the pink one.”

-Two seniors.

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve been addicted to…wait, no, not like that!”

-Senior.

“Let’s go do drugs!”

-W.W.

*coughs* “It’s just pneumonia.”

-Mátyás.

“What are you doing?  What is wrong with you?”

-Junior.

“Why is it shaped like a shiv?”

-Senior.

“I kill babies.”

-Senior.

“Heeey, here’s a sh*tbox, it’s fine!”

-Junior.

“The car’s the last thing that will kill him.  If anything, it’s his own behavior.”

-Guy who used to work here.

“Ponyoooo!”

“There’s camaraderie on short Wednesdays.”

“I think I’m gonna cry!  That broke me.  That was the last straw on the camel’s back.”

-Senior.

“I don’t think I could kill you without killing…myself.”

-Junior girl to another junior girl.

“He spits a lot.”

-Senior.

“The white one.”

-Brady.

“I’m a kinky little varmin.”

-Sophomore that transferred to another school.

“You want me to be best man at my own wedding that you cheated on?”

-Some middle school girl.

“I don’t knoooow my parents’ income!”

“He’s been playing with it.”

“And you’re missing hair.”

“I feel like Goldilocks in pirate form.”

-Senior.

“Well, then just…fight through the pain.”

“I will try to come.”

“My head is too open….”

-Senior.

“I’m ready for my model portion.”

-Senior.

“How do people, like, float in water?”

“Oh no, I scuba dive…but I can’t really swim…I’m not gonna die for twenty minutes…like, if no one rescues me for twenty minutes, then I’m like ‘Okay.’”

“[REDACTED], I need your clothes.”

-Senior.

“Did you know he’s massive?”

“It was like a crossover of our two worlds.”

-Senior.

“Eight-year-old boys.”

-Some little middle schooler.

“I was in my bed, dying, [REDACTED].”

-Senior.

“Well, try harder.”

“Even if I’m on my deathbed, I’ll send a email saying ‘I can’t come to student government.’”

-Senior.

“What’s wrong with my hair today?  Why do you keep…touchin’ it?”

-Junior to another junior.

“Why you sniffin’ that nail polish, [REDACTED]?”  “Why aren’t you?”

-Two juniors.

“At the beach in front of your friends is not okay!”

-Anaïs.

“I cry to make people feel bad.””

“I feel like he’s trying to hit all the minorities.”

-Senior.

“Who was it?”

“A big bunny.”

-Two junior girls.

“I feel like [REDACTED] would be a squirrel.”  “What, so I’d be, like, chased by dogs?”

“Just a stupid, dumb squirrel.”

-Two seniors, then another senior a little later.

“Like, can I be your mom?  She’s so pretty…. She could step on people.”

-Senior

“My grandpa always jokes about going to hell.  He is always looking down.”

-Senior.

“Matyas, are you a girlboss?”

-Senior.

“Eh, you’re looking FRUITY today.”

-Some middle school girl.

“He’s probably a demon, but he takes the form of a Brit.”

-Me.

“The cartel doesn’t own all of the property.”

-Senior.

“My phone knows that I’m gay.”

-Senior.

“[REDACTED] just tased me and I found it…arousing-I mean….”

-Senior.

“I haven’t been understanding myself these days.”

-Junior.

“It’s for the bladder.”

-Some middle school girl.

“If I like someone, I get to interject.”

“No, I’m not attracted to him.”

-Senior.

“Why are all these guys so ugly?”

“He could be cute.”

-Senior.

“I like it very much.  It appeals to all my sexual fantasies.”

“Where’s my goth girlfriend?”

“I am very straight.”

-Senior.

“No, [REDACTED], it’s not like that!  I just wanna be really, really, really, really rich.”

-Senior.

“I can make the decision not to talk to you.”

“We live in mud huts.”

-Senior.

“We just sleep on top of each other.”

-Senior.

“After we came home, we had SEX!”

“I can feel it in my feet.”

“And me and my wife hate each other.”

-Junior.

“You have to, like, shove it in there.”

-Sophomore.

“I’m really good at schmoobin’, but I just can’t in this class.”

-Senior. 

“We were just talking about you and masturbation!”

-Rosemary.

“Mr. Walters, what are jellyfish?  Like, what species are they?”

-Senior.

“Everyone’s an exhibitionist.”

-Some senior, although the exact person was forgotten.

“Now, I have two holes in my head because I probably BLASTED a hole in my head trying to drown the gremlins out!”

-Seventh grader.

“Oh my god, you can smoke that!”

-Eleonore.

“Do you like tender carrots?”

-Junior.

“Everyone always goes for the young ones.”

-Me.

“[REDACTED], you don’t have rights right now.”

“[Same person], if you want to come, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Your mom isn’t coming.”

-Female senior.

“I was literally dripping with COVID.”

-Senior.

“Tastes like your mom.” 

-One of four seniors.

“[Teacher], are you a devil on the field?”

-Senior.

“Now, I have to sacrifice you.”

-Talula.

“Oh, look, I’m literally married.”

-Freshman.

“So I didn’t put on WAP or anything like that.”

-Teacher.

“I didn’t run that light.  You are…schizophrenic and a woman, so….”

-Senior boy to senior girl.

“Hot young men.”

“I’m straight.”

-Senior.

“I can now be called a pedophile!”

-Senior, jumping up and down giddily.

“Hey, catfisher.”

-Teacher.

“Hey, can you skip all your plans and hang out with me?”

-Senior.

“I wanna try that with a man.  Find me a man!  Find me your finest man.”

-Junior.

“Am I good at Model UN?  No.  Did I get lucky?  Yes.  Am I proud of myself?  Yes.”

-Jasper.

“The Sherlock Holmes of race.”

-Senior, about me.

“…the dark matter we usually discard…”

-Ellen.

“No, Mátyás.  Remember last study hall, Mátyás?  You’re not getting sh*t.”

-Brady.

“I feel like I have created a case of massive hysteria in here.”

-Mátyás.

“Chat GPT is not escaping the matrix.”

-Senior.

“You would beat up a dying man?”

“Uh, yeah, actually.  It would make it easier.”

-Me and a junior.

“No! I hate Asia!”

Davey.

“If I was straight, you’d make such a good wife.”

-Senior.

“I liked him at the beginning when he was small and weak and didn’t do anything.”

“Like, that’s exactly how I feel around [REDACTED].  I just say crazy, out-of-pocket things.”

-Senior.

“I found and accidentally tortured and imprisoned an ant in Mr. Koens’s room.”

-Me.

“We’re the banana experts now.”

-Ellen.

“You circumnavigated the banana if you know what I mean.”

 “Oh, circumcision!”

Me, Senior.

“They tore the tip off!”

-Me.

“‘Cuz you like girls in cars and all these car things and new cars.”

-Junior.

“Technically, it wasn’t insider trading.”

“I like being an *sshole.”

-Mátyás.

“I am the single white individual in Santa Cruz.”

-Senior.

“It’s not that I’m breaking my spine, it’s NOT that I’m breaking my spine.”

-Hannibal.

“Why don’t you just get a job and buy your own phone?”

“I do have a job and it’s investing.”

Mátyás, then Oliver soon after.

“He’s so crusty.”

“All his friends went through puberty and he’s still stuck at the back.”

-Some sophomore girls.

“No, I’m sorry, he is not hot.”

“Eeeh, it’s Malcolm, eh, it’s Malcolm, eh eh.”

-Some younger girl.

“You murdered your child?”

-Seventh grader.

“It’s important!  They’re hating on my dog in the French classroom!”

– Student

“Wait, I’m LIVE!”

-Sophomore.

“My tummy hurts…”

-Mátyás.

“I love how it tastes, it’s so toxic!”

-Senior.

“We should get federal agents on the internet.”

-Senior.

“It’s not murder if it’s an accident!”

-Yours truly.

“I like jail.”

-Junior.

“You need to rizz ChatGPT up before you use it.”

-Mátyás.

“Dude, imagine the money I would make as a stripper.”

-Senior.

“Mátyás, drugs are bad.”

-Some guy.

“Was that misogynist?  Yes.  Do I care?  No.”

-Senior girl.

“I’m not dead, I’m just sleeping.”

-Me.

“It’s 420, bro.”

-Junior.

“No breaks!  You are not entitled to a brain break.”

-Teacher.

“I am always living in the moment.”

-Mátyás.

“I burned it really badly.  It’s not bad.”

-Senior.

“I broke my anklet!  Nooooo, my poor baby.”

-Junior.

“You know what?  I’m glad I destroyed your blunt.”

-Me.

“…Kermit suicide.”

“Yes!  Finally.”

-Lucas and another junior.

“We have to give him the alcohol, THEN shoot him.”

“What do you mean I’m bad at Fortnite?  I can’t move!”

-Lucas.

“Yeah, Ross allows me to buy my sh*tty plastic clothes at a low cost.”

-Mátyás.

“Hank, I still love you.”

-Senior.

“That’s what the mask is.”

-Senior.

“She’s [another senior] beautiful and fabulous and everything she does is right.”

-Senior.

“[REDACTED], I’m going to fail AP US History.”  “Good, I hope you do.”

-Junior and senior.

“Why marry an old man when you can marry Timothée Chalamet?”

-Senior.

“The earth is flat.”

-Junior.

“Why is it getting even more flat?”

-Oliver.

“I need to gaslight my dad…”

-Senior.

“Why would I apologize for anything…?”

-Senior.

“No, this is my Michigan kid!  My Michigan kid!”

-Some middle school girl.

“Mr. Lai is single-handedly putting an end to my academic career.  Him and Mr. Garrett.  They had a meeting…with Mr. Rockefeller…to steal everyone’s money.”

-Junior.

“I don’t like not having my phone!”

-Senior.

“I have Facebook just because I like to…kind of interact with relatives.”

-Senior.

“What are we doing in homeroom today?”

“Tobacco.”

-Junior and me.

“They didn’t give him enough drugs.”

-Senior.

“I hate children.  It brings a smile to my face.”

-Davey.

“I have just justified child abuse.”

-Me.

“You abusin’ kids again?”  “Yes.”

-Me, Davey.

“It’s literally this short and this long.”

-Sevie.

“I’ve seen your house, whether you like it or not.”

-Tâm Lý.

“Fish!  I love fish!”

-Ellen.

“Yeah, he got gyrated out of existence.  He’s not there anymore.”

-8th grader.

“Matyas, we should scam people…No, in a creative way!”

-Oliver.

“It doesn’t matter how fat or long or wide it is.”

-Davey.

“You dumb f*cking cretin.”  “Can you stop making things up, Lucas?”

-Lucas, Davey.

“The laziness grindset.”

-Mátyás.

“You’re gonna have a hot girl summer.  You’re gonna go to clubs in Greece.”

-Senior.

“I’m quaking in my boots.  I’m quakin’.”

-Random younger girl.

“Bye, Queen Kyle, see you at prom!”

-Senior.

“I love children.”

-Lucas.

“What I’m hearing is you’re using Minecraft to support your argument.”

-Mr. Alley.

“He looks like a triceratops having a seizure.”

-Senior.

“We’re talking about getting a stripper for DMUN.”

-Sophomore.

“Aaron, people are having sex tonight and you’re worried about Minecraft?”

-Zadie to Aaron C.

“Got blood gushin’ out muh eye, G.I. Joe up muh *ss.”

-John W.

“I was touching [senior girl]!”

-Senior girl.

“[REDACTED], which one are you, whites or blacks?  Whites look better, honestly.”

-Davey.

“Don’t forget the nipple laser, ever.”

-Rose.