October 31st is always an exciting day. You return from trick-or-treating with boatloads of snickers and sweet tarts at night, only to eat candy for 4 hours straight–or until you fall into a candy coma. This process is continuous for a couple of days, but then it slows down.  You wonder why, and then realize that you’re almost out of candy. You walk to your room, lay down on your bed, and wonder how this could’ve happened. You thought you had planned it all out.  You thought you hadn’t made any mistakes. However, you obviously did.  While eating your last fun size twix bar in tears, you wonder whether you might have done better.  How you could’ve had three pounds of candy instead of two. Luckily, I think I have the answer.

A STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE ON HOW TO STRATEGIZE YOUR CANDY COLLECTION

• Take note of what type of neighborhood you live in.  Is it small?  Is it large? Is it a medium size neighborhood? If you live in a small neighborhood, consider going to large neighborhood.  

• Consider the spacing of the houses in your neighborhood.  If they are 10 feet apart, you lucked out.  Think about it.  You walk an average speed of 3 miles per hour, and considering you are walking on relatively flat terrain, a distance of ten feet means that in 1 hour, you will be able to hit around 400 houses, if you spend 30 seconds or more at each house. However, if they are 1000 feet apart, you may want to get a bike, or find a different neighborhood.  Additionally, consider the spacing of the steps leading up to the doors.  If the distance is long, you may want to engage in a fast walk, as to not lose anytime.  Practice running and dodging objects, so that if you see someone heading towards a house you want to go to, you will be able to get in front of them.

• You have now found the perfect neighborhood.  Find out when the candy-giving rituals begin, and be there right on time.  Locate neighboring neighborhoods and find their ending times for the candy-giving rituals.  You may be able to catch some candy in the neighboring neighborhoods after your done with your primary hood.

• Is there a wealthier side of your neighborhood? Start there, so you can get the biggest pieces of candy first.  By the time you get to the other side of the neighborhood, there will be bowls left out with the remaining candy for you to snag.

• PRO TIP.  Look at your candy-carrying-apparatus.  Is it a cliche jack-o-lantern? Or is a king size pillow case?  Is it one king size pillow case?  Or is it three? The bigger the container, the more candy.  If you carry three large king size pillowcases, you are practically guaranteed to have a large supply of delicious morsels ranging from caramel apples to tropical flavor, limited edition skittles.

• Lastly, consider double costumes.  If you finish your neighborhood, and there are no good neighboring neighborhoods, then you might want to change costumes, and hit the same houses again.  Double the load.

Once you have gathered your candy, consider trading.  Everyone knows 1 three musketeers isn’t worth two twix, but a king size snickers bar is worth six airheads plus a dum-dum.  You might be able to maximize your candy load by fifteen more pieces, if done right.

If you follow these steps, you should be able to have candy for weeks proceeding halloween. Happy tricking, happy treating, and, most importantly, Happy Halloween!